How long is too long for a man to propose?

Published by Théophile Niyitegeka
On 12 November 2016 saa 10:56
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47 2

Hello Elcrema family and welcome to yet another beautiful edition of the Elcrema Sunday Love Special.

Today, we’d be discussing about proposal. When can one say it has taken too long for a man to propose to a woman?

Drama and Shawn will share their opinions, and your opinion about this touchy subject also matters.


First, I want to say that there are different reasons why people go into a relationship, sometimes, it’s not about eventually getting married, but about fun and friendship. You need to be sure you know what you and your partner want before you dabble into that relationship. This is because there are a lot of people who are simply in a ‘just fun’ relationship without even knowing it. Define the relationship terms and goals before you start, so you’re sure of what you’re getting into.

That said, I think that it’s pretty simple to tell when a man is serious about settling with you as his partner for life (marriage). If your man, who has made his intentions to get married sometime in the future known to you is very comfortable financially, and still hasn’t proposed to you, then there is something not right with that relationship. There is usually just one thing that keeps a man from proposing to the woman he truly loves — money. Once money is available, men usually do not hold back. If they hold back, then it’s almost certain that they’re having second doubts about the woman. So, I can’t put a time frame to how long I think it should take for a man to propose to the woman he loves, but I think that the comfort level he has financially is what I consider a good yardstick to measure it. If he has no money, he isn’t ready, unless the woman is willing to be the ‘man’ in the marriage. But if he has a stable source of income, and is doing well financially, and still doesn’t propose, that can be considered as ‘stalling’. As the woman, talk to him about it, and if you’re unsatisfied with his response, body language, then, you might be right to take a walk.

I’d say it depends on certain factors. A lot of men tend to date other women for a very long time and then leave them for other ‘suitable’ women when they are ready for marriage. But this is really wrong.

There are so many factors that could prompt one to say “this has taken too long”; age, duration of the relationship, how far the relationship has come etc. I’d share my opinion on the three subjects mentioned.

The age factor is an important one; ladies tend to get worried when they draw close to the their 30s, and while this is something most men can’t understand, I feel it’s something they should accept — women will always get worried and ask questions when they are around this age, and they deserve genuine answers.

The duration of the relationship is another one. You don’t have to date a lady for 10 years before you propose to her. Dating a lady for a year or two or even less should be enough to tell you whether to take the relationship further or not. If you feel the relationship isn’t right, it’s better to end it at that time than waste the woman’s time, and if you feel the relationship is right then you should try to sort things out and take it further. Sometimes, certain factors like finance and other things might not be ready at the time, but you can always start small, and you should at least communicate your fears and worries with her.

Thirdly, how far has the relationship come? There is a stage the relationship will get to and you just know deep within you that you should take it further. If you keep stalling and wasting precious time, then the relationship might reach its peak and probably begin to decline, and the love that once existed will turn sour gradually.

I believe that there is time for everything, and these factors to me should determine whether your proposal has taken too long.

That’s our take on this topic, but then when can you really say a proposal has taken too long?