{I received a lot of feedback on last week’s topic: Is there rape in marriage?}

{{A lot has been said and documented about this topic. Interestingly, many women shared about the reality of rape within marriage. Their stories were amazing, and I will certainly share them in the near future.}}

From the discussion, something interesting came out — men felt that women were also guilty of this sin. Which brings me to this week’s topic, “can a woman be accused of raping a man?” or in simple terms “can a woman rape a man?”

{{Guilty as charged}}

An interesting story was shared, “Two women abducted a young man, kept him in seclusion and repeatedly raped him for a week. He was lured, drugged and sexually abused. As a result, he had a psychological disorder and physical injuries — his genitals were bleeding and he could hardly walk”. How is this possible? one wonders.

This topic has always attracted heated arguments and the debate continues. But can a wife rape her husband?

Rape is defined as a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person’s consent.

Interestingly, studies indicate that women too, can commit rape. Wow! How can a woman commit rape? One would ask. According to these studies, both men and women can experience sexual violence and coercion within relationships.

Although rape is usually viewed from a male perspective, many argue that women too, are abusers and do lure men into committing the offence.

Marital rape is non- consensual in which the perpetrator is the victim’s spouse. I must admit that rape within a marriage context remains an elusive concept, especially in the African culture.

Generally, the perception is that when a man marries his wife, then consent to sexual intercourse is deemed to be granted.

Interestingly, marital rape remains alien. According to the scripture, spouses should not deny one another sex.

{{Stoned to death}}

Deuteronomy 22:13-29 condemns rape. This command was meant to protect women. In Deuteronomy 22:25-27 the punishment for a man who raped a woman is mentioned in the Mosaic Law.

The man was to be stoned to death while the woman was considered innocent. Though the Mosaic Law was for the nation of Israel during the time of Moses, the principle is clear that rape was sinful in the eyes of God, and led to the most extreme punishment possible — death.

Interestingly, there is no mention of any woman raping a man and the consequences thereof.

Rape within marriage is rarely reported because it is difficult to prove, and is socially tolerated. Many abused individuals, both male and female, are afraid to report the violence because of stigma associated to it. Others feel unable to speak out due to fear and humiliation.

What is important is to remember that marriage is a gift of God and sex is a by-product of the union, so whatever you do, you ought to enjoy the union of marriage and the benefits thereof.

{adapted from Standard}