How to heal from sexual trauma

By Zaninka Umutesi
On 27 December 2022 at 07:32

It is possible that we can all have different definitions of what sexual trauma is, the same way some people still argue that a person wearing a short dress is asking for attention which at times results in sexual assault.

Sexual trauma is the exposure to any sexually inappropriate behaviors that cause a person to experience a great deal of stress.

Inappropriate sexual behaviors can be physical, from being touched or grabbed in a sexual manner. It could also be verbal through humiliation or threats of sexual acts, it could be visual, such as being forced to view sexual images or acts.

These behaviors could lead to the victim being physically hurt, experiencing intense fear, or even being forced into performing sexual acts.

A lady called Rosa (not her real name) tells us her experience, being new to relationships. Rosa did not know how she was supposed to behave but with her naivety, she decided to trust her partner believing that he would not do something to her that they both did not agree on and though it was not the first time he had made moves on her, it was certainly a day she will never forget.

The pain she felt, covered in blood, the tears and screams begging him to stop, all remained futile. And when he was satisfied, she had to get herself up and clean what she could but never the emotional scars and definitely never to get her innocence back.

Continuing life like nothing happened only lasted her so long until one day in the shower that it all came crashing down like she was back reliving every single second that felt like it lasted longer than it should, she blamed herself for it all. For agreeing to be in the relationship in the first place to believing that he would not hurt her, to not fighting hard enough before serious damages occurred.

Most people blame the person who experienced this or similar to it saying that it is their fault for trusting the wrong person or that they are lying that in some way they caused it by being there or seducing the other in the first place which makes people who face such events to keep it to themselves rather than being seen as the starters, hence increasing the possibility of more trauma due to keeping it all bottled up.

Just because a person goes through sexual assault does not make them less of the person they were before it happened. They are still the same and more in need of the support of their loved ones more than ever regardless of their own contribution to the event or not.

And for all those having faced this, open up to a mental health specialist to help you heal and though it may be hard and takes time but you will rise from the ashes to the beautiful creature you are.