Effects of white lies at the beginning of a relationship

By Zaninka Umutesi
On 7 February 2023 at 07:25

So, you bragged to your fiancé about all the wonderful little things you can do and now you’re married. Congratulations! You’re now in for a lifetime of learning and putting into practice whatever you lied about, whether you like it or not.

Who knows? Maybe you will even master it and your spouse will be so impressed. They will never even know you lied in the first place or you will fail horribly and it’ll be your first fight.

As a child, there was a story we were told about a woman who got married, with her husband thinking she was the best cook.

Every time he’d visit her during their engagement, he’d find the most appetizing food on the table.

He realized that if married her, these could be his forever meals, so he did, out of love but primarily because of the magic her hands could cook up.

One day, he comes home early with a fish in an envelope and asked his now-new wife to cook it while he watches, so he could also learn how to cook.

What he did not know was that all the food he had come to love her for was the product of her mother’s homemade meals and restaurant takeaways.

This story scared me straight and influenced me to learn how to cook so that the day I am ever surprised with a fish, I will at least know how to clean it properly.

People who can cook, especially in African cultures, demonstrate not only certain domestic skills but also their willingness to nurture and care for their partners, so it is not surprising that women will easily lie about this.

When dating, say whatever you like just be sure that it won’t come back to bite you if it leads to marriage.

There are lies you tell your partner to pique their interest and lead your relationship further, forgetting that this is still a form of betrayal.

These could range from lies such as: ’Cooking is my specialty, ’Organizing and maintaining my finances are what I’m most proud of.

And the worst lie of them all remains: “My family is super awesome. They’ll love you!”

What was once a sweet lie can become a very sour truth. So, when it comes to being honest in your relationship, remember that it’ll pay to be as genuine as possible.

If your partner likes to dance, don’t lie that you do too when you know very clearly that you have a zilch rhythm.

Be careful what you brag about to your partner, and remain as authentic as you possibly can be.

It can be a little lie that leads to the biggest mistrust in your relationship, diminishing the compassion and empathy your partner feels towards you.

As the lies increase, the more intense you become in your relationship and become distant which will destroy your relationship.