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Why spending time alone can sometimes be good for you

By Sam K Nkurunziza
On 2 February 2025 at 09:55

Humans are social creatures that need to have good connections with loved ones and those who matter. This type of relationship is one of the key elements of a personal well-being. Ironically establishing, nurturing and maintaining good friendships and social connections always begins with yourself.

The very basic element to this is that firstly human beings have a personal relationship with themselves and recognize its importance. They desire to develop this into a healthy one and regularly check in and look after it.

Research indicates that developing a personal relationship with yourself is helpful for better mental health, greater resilience when things get tough and better empathy skills.

We grow as individuals to be more self-sufficient, develop healthier relationships with family or friends, and can even improve productivity. But, most important of all is that you know who you truly are.

This mainly entails what you want, what is important to you, what you value, how you tick and react or respond, and what your emotional and thinking patterns are.

Like using a broken sat nav, we get lost in life when we don’t know ourselves inside out: we make poor decisions, we find it difficult to know who to be around, which step to take next and when we need to reset and start again.

We need to get our internal navigational “software” back on track. Once we realize this, the specific actions we take to nurture a healthy relationship with ourselves involves spending some time on yourself, with yourself and by yourself.

Go to the cinema

Have you ever gone to watch a film on your own? Or do you shy away from doing it because you are worried about what other people might think, or because you are not treating yourself to something lovely, or because you don’t quite know what you might like to see?

It may sound like a small step to take, but going on your own to a venue like the cinema can really clarify a few things – you have to realize you want to treat yourself to a nice event and that you deserve it, you have to make the time yourself.

Have a day out or travel

Solo travel is becoming increasingly popular and even if it is not very far away, it can teach you so much about yourself. You realize that you can create happy times and memories, you get to experience new things and see how you manage and adapt if events do not go to plan.

You can also allow yourself to meet new people. Even if it is not far away or finances are tight, why not try to design an inexpensive day out for yourself, and see how it makes you feel?

Go out to eat

There is a lot of pressure from society to think that eating out at a restaurant is only for two or more people. Many of us avoid eating out by ourselves for fear of looking lonely or seem like we do not have friends.

But this is not true. It is a great thing to eat out on your own and if you have done it once, you will wonder why on earth you didn’t do it before. Spending time with yourself does not mean you have to feel lonely, and you can test just what good company you can be.

Spend a day at home

Life is full of potential distractions that sometimes take us away from ourselves and spending time alone. Try spending a whole day at home and be with yourself, your thoughts and your feelings. When you invite a friend to your house, you would plan a lovely time with some activities or food but why don’t you do that for yourself?

See how you feel at the end of it and how well you have taken care of yourself. Have you made yourself laugh, allowed yourself to rest or taken time to reflect on how you feel? Practice makes perfect.

Knowing ourselves means knowing what we enjoy, fulfilling our passions and finding joy. One thing we can do to understand ourselves is to start an activity or hobby that represents who we truly are.

That might be something completely new to us or re-engaging with something we used to do as children. Hobbies help us see ourselves and lead to more creative ideas about how to nurture that relationship with ourselves.

We need to get our internal navigational “software” back on track.

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