
I have been observing how girls in Rwanda are getting married at an early age of eighteen to twenty years , yet I have always thought that the right age of getting married was twenty years and above. I have got a chance to talk to some of them, so that I get to know the reason behind.
"I remember when I was 13 years old, I had my first boyfriend. I was so in love and I was very sure that he was the one for me. So, I decided to tell my parents about it.
I first approached my mother, the minute she heard it she automatically said that it can't happen and she threatened me to end it.
I wanted to know the reason behind it, and she said that I was so young and that I should never be seen with any guy again, and I wondered how I was going to handle it. I was devastated by her reaction, so we decided to date in secret. We used to talk, meet and do everything in hidden places.
We got tired of it and decided to get married eight years later. We only waited that long because the law says that I can get married only at twenty one and above.
This is basically the reason why I got married that early, because I was tired of hiding my relationship and I was not ready to sacrifice him for my parent's sake." said Valerie.
"Since kindergarten, I have always had my four girl friends. We have always been so close to each other and we made sure that we attended the same schools throughout. We are now graduates and each of us has a good job.
Things have started changing when they all got married except me. The conversations that we used to have are no longer the same, they are all caught up in their marriages, and we don't hang out like we used to.
I have been tired of being a bridesmaid in all weddings. Society keeps reminding me that the clock is ticking and that I should get a husband as soon as possible. I feel like there is a deadline to marriage that comes with a lot of pressure.
I am stressed to the point where it doesn't matter anymore to find my prince charming but what matters is to stop being single." said Belinda.
"I wonder if I should abort or not? This is a question that I used to ask myself five months ago. I met this handsome and attractive man a year ago, and we got to know each other, then one thing led to another and we started dating. Few months later, I was pregnant and I needed to tell my parents about it.
The truth is that we were not that serious to the point of starting a life together. As soon as my parents heard that I was expecting, they said that I should immediately marry him. They didn't care that I was still a teenager and that we were not ready to be married.
All they cared about was to protect their name and reputation. We didn't have any other choice but to get married. I feel like my life has been turned upside down and I am still young to be a mother and a wife. I should have probably aborted!" said Amanda.
According to the case studies above, many young women have been married off at a young age due to various reasons such as: escaping the parents' strictness and control, peer pressure from friends and unexpected pregnancy.
My advice to young women who are facing such problems would be not to rush into marriage rather they should think twice about it, because is not a haven from problems.
Parents should take time to know their children and what they are going through instead of forcing them to get married just for the sake of keeping their name and reputation.





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