“Am I a call girl just because I accept gifts from older men with high incomes and jobs for sex? Honestly, which girl does not want to be pampered just because of being young and beautiful?”

Well, that is the argument that most if not all “sugar babies” would come up with in the event of them being called a call girl for having sugar daddies.

A sugar daddy is an older man, who earns a high income, possibly with a family, who trades gifts for sex from younger girls who are willing.

Both parties know what they're getting into up front: a mutually beneficial arrangement or relationship.

These intergenerational relationships have become common now due to the need for some of these girls to fit in.

Some are from poor economic backgrounds so when the opportunity presents itself, they cannot turn it down. They need the money to pay their school fees and pay their bills.

To them, this is a source of livelihood, a survival mechanism. “I don't have parents who can help me pay for university, so I have to rely on the kindness of wealthy men out of desperation” said Mary* ({name changed to protect identity}).

However, for those who get into such relationships claiming that men their age are promiscuous. They think that these older men are wiser hence more serious.

Their seriousness is seen through the gifts that they are constantly showered with.

Mary* said she prefers dating married older men because they tend to be more paternal and offer a steadier source of income as compared to single men.

“As much as I love my boyfriend, I cannot stop being a sugar babie. The thrill, the danger and the luxury that comes with it, is so much more enticing.”

Some of these older men are not as serious as they make their younger ‘girlfriends’ believe. Most of these men are just looking for sex and looking to have a good time without anything serious.

They are not looking to make a family with these younger women. In fact, in the event that the ‘sugar babie’ gets pregnant, she will be left and she will be old news to the sugar daddy; no longer useful.

When this young woman gets old, she will also be left because this old man only wants younger women.In the end these girls lose out. This man isn't in love, is not reliable, and he'll move on to another as soon as he can.

Usually he has a family and denies the girl the chance to raise her own, and will only see the young girl when it is convenient for him.

The argument in the “sugar babies” phenomena is whether these young girls are really the victim or rather have an agenda. There are some who will choose to look at intergenerational relationships as beneficial because both parties get what they want.

However, there are those who will look at these relationships as prostitution. Is this girl not selling sex for gifts? What of those girls who have multiple sugar daddies?

What will be said of them? Most of these girls keep these relationships secret. They do not want judgment passed on them. I suppose they live on “the end justifies the means”.

As long as they have their money and gifts, nothing else should matter.
The sad reality of these so-called “casual relationships” is that they do lead to so much more than casual encounters.

Unplanned pregnancies, abuse and abortions, are few of the emotional damagesthat come with it.

Diseases such as genital warts, syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, including HIV can be contracted as well as. As well as broken families and damaged souls.

In this era of HIV/AIDS, it is imperative that we educate young girls about the dangers of engaging in sexual relationships with 'sugar daddies' whose objective is to satisfy their sexual desires.

Obviously the 'sugar daddy' in this case is exploiting the young woman, it is a power thing.

The young women most of the times are victims of their circumstances; poverty, lack of education, lack of resources, epidemic corruption has a lot to do with it.

I think we should focus more on what drives these young women to have a relationship with older men.