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Dealing with a family member with anger issues this holiday

By Zaninka Umutesi
On 23 December 2022 at 11:21

It is fair to say that not all of us are blessed to be born into families that can deal with our emotions well.

Most times it is the person that is viewed as the happiest outside that is the angriest behind closed doors.

Sometimes the only people who know your ins and outs are indeed families.

If you are dealing with an angry family member, these tips could be helpful:

- Acknowledge the anger, don’t try to downplay it or make excuses.

Parents excuse their children’s angry outbursts over the smallest things, either because they didn’t get the toy they wanted or because they cooked a meal they did not like.

This allows the child to grow up thinking that their anger is always excused, making them feel zero accountability for their actions.

Acknowledging these little angry tantrums will allow you to teach your child how to manage their issues.

- Trying to understand where the anger is coming from, is there a particular trigger?

Not all outbursts are for nothing, and that is where most of us go wrong in trying to correct children.

Anger is still a natural emotion but also a response mirroring others’ actions in different situations.

A person will mirror how others behave, typically these are people with whom we spend most of our time.

Parents, guardians, teachers, and others should be careful with how they express their anger around young people because that is most likely how they will handle familiar situations.

- Avoid getting into an argument, this only makes the situation worse.

Getting angry over someone else’s bad temper is not a new concept, and yes you are allowed to be however this does not make the other person less angry, it just results in a yelling match.

Try to be patient, take some time to yourself to calm down, go for a walk and try a relaxing activity or even a hardcore exercise to distract your mind.

Offer to help ease the situation and introduce them to prayer because there is just something about believing in a greater power that allows you to let go of your feelings and believe in the greater good.

The holidays can be challenging for anyone struggling with anger issues, their family, and friends, but remember to stay positive and patient, take time for yourself when needed, and above all, remember that you are not alone.

There are plenty of people who understand what you’re going through, and they want to help.

Keep in mind that learning to deal with your anger issues does not mean letting go of your beliefs or allowing others to step on you.

If they are unaware of how they make you feel they won’t change, and yes, some will get worse if you express how you feel but at least you did your part.

Expressing your emotions means finding a calm moment when the person you are going to talk to has eaten because hunger makes an angry person, and calmly but firmly expressing yourself with no shouting involved.

Share with them various alternatives to help them deal better with anger during the season

One way to reduce stress during the holiday season is to set realistic expectations for yourself.

This means not overbooking yourself with holiday parties or events and trying to do too much in a short amount of time.

It’s also important to plan as much as possible and delegate tasks so you’re not left feeling overwhelmed.

Another way to reduce tension is to take some time to yourself each day, even for just a few minutes doing something you enjoy, such as reading, listening to music, or taking a relaxing bath.

It’s also important to exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet, as this can help improve your mood and energy levels.

A piece of chocolate is okay once in a while as it allows the brain to feel happiness, bungee eats chocolate and your anger will be directed at your toothache.

One way to reduce stress during the holiday season is to set realistic expectations for yourself. Photo By Arcadian Counseling

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